Pacing – The key to rapport

Just listening is NOT enough. The skill of how to listen so they feel heard & the key to building trust, like & respect…

In this exercise we are learning the first step of the two step dance that is resolving a conflict – that step is pacing (you may have heard of it as ‘reflective listening’ or ‘active listening’, they’re all essentially the same thing. Your objective is NOT to resolve the conflict at this stage, only to understand the gap by starting with the person’s current experience AS THEY SEE/FEEL it… Watch the videos first, then you can complete the worksheet below. Any questions, hit me up on FB messenger or ask in our FB group.

Below is a worksheet for you to use to practice PACING ONLY… Thats the getting alongside, reflecting, seeing what they see part. It is NOT moving them past it, that’s too much too soon. So, to get you started, one possible answer to ‘Its too difficult’ might see you responding with ‘So, its feeling really hard right now?’ Got the game? Its just reflecting, accepting that that is how it is FOR THEM. That doesnt mean you have to agree yourself, because its not your map we’re working with here. Have a go filling in possible pacing statements for each barrier/problem statement provided.